I walked across and empty land…I knew the pathway like the back of my ha—
Kurt hand hit the alarm clock, stopping the music.
He rubbed his eyes and rolled out of bed. His house slippers were right where his feet landed and he slipped them on, heading to the kitchen. It wasn’t a far walk, but every step felt heavier and heavier as he drudged down the hallway. He looked in the cabinet for the Hazelnut roast coffee. He hated it, but Blaine loved it and insisted that they buy it at the coffee shop last week. He put 3 slices of bread into the toaster: two for Blaine and one for him. He was beginning to wake up, but this morning routine had become so ingrained in his mind that he hardly had to think at all. When you live with someone, you adjust to a schedule. He had followed these steps every day for the last 3 years, and today was no different. He set out two plates and two napkins, right across from each other on their small coffee table. When the coffee was done, he poured two mugs of it and set them on the table. Kurt liked his coffee black, but he added 2 creams and a pack of Splenda to Blaine’s, just the way he liked it. He buttered the toast and set it out, finally sitting down to his breakfast. It was then that he looked across the table and realized that Blaine wouldn’t be joining him for breakfast. He set his mug down on the table, staring at the empty chair.
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“So tonight is our date, right hun?” Blaine yelled across the house. Kurt was getting dressed and storming through his closet to find the perfect outfit. He felt Blaine’s warm hand on his shoulder. “Do you need some help, Kurt?” Blaine smiled. He knew how important fashion was to his boyfriend, but sometimes it got a little ridiculous. “You’ll look handsome no matter what you wear. Come on Kurt, we have to get ready.” Kurt slipped on his pea coat and with a satisfied look said, “Okay, I’m ready.” He slipped his hand into Blaine’s where it fit perfectly, and the two of them left the apartment. They walked hand in hand to the subway station, where they would part ways for the day. Kurt would go to the office and Blaine would take the train to school, and they would meet up again at the train station and walk home, just like they did every day. As Blaine’s train began to pull up, he gave Kurt a warm kiss. “I love you Kurt.” Kurt smiled and hugged his boyfriend “I love you too.” They smiled and as Blaine walked away, he waved, “See you tonight!”
Kurt had cleaned up his plate and walked back to their bedroom. He went to his closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt Blaine bought him for his birthday. He grabbed a jacket, his phone, his keys, and his wallet and he headed out the door. He had a lot of things he had to do today. He had meetings all day and he had a lot to put together. He walked to the subway station, just like he did every day and got on his train at 9:05.
All of a sudden, he heard his phone ringing. He checked the time; it was 10:23. He saw that Blaine was calling him, and he knew in that moment that something wasn’t right. “Hey sweetheart what’s going on?” He answered the phone the same way he always did. The next part was a blur; all he could hear was a strange man’s voice and the words “accident”, “critical”, “hospital”, and “Blaine Anderson”. Before he knew it, he was running down the street to Mt. Sinai hospital faster than he had ever run in his life. When he got there, the doctors took him to the emergency room where he could hear screaming from bed 4. He knew that voice, and he knew that scream. He ran to the curtain and pulled it back to see what was left of the man he loved. Blaine was covered head to toe in deep gashes and bruises and was bleeding all over. The doctors looked at Kurt and said “Sir, we need you to wait outside.” Still in shock, Kurt lost his inhibition and screamed “No! That’s my boyfriend! I need to stay with him! Let me stay with him!” but a nurse just pulled him away and closed the curtains. Kurt was hysterical, and finally collapsed. He was crying and screaming, using all of his strength to get back over to bed 4, to hold his boyfriend’s hand and tell him he loved him, to be there for the man who had always been there for him. But his strength was no match for the nurses, who had him restrained to a chair in the waiting room.
His first stop was at Blaine’s school. He needed to submit a leave form for his boyfriend. He didn’t know what else to do. Eventually they would notice if he wasn’t showing up. Next, he went to his office to take the next few weeks off. He knew he would need it. After about 3 more hours of basic errands (groceries, clothes, etc.) he headed down to the hospital. He bought a small blue teddy bear from the gift shop when he walked in and clutched it tightly as he got in the elevator. He pressed the button for the 7th floor and stared at the ceiling until the doors slid open. He walked down the hallway avoiding eye contact with anyone. He tried not to look into the rooms of the other patients because he thought it was rude. He kept walking until he arrived at room 732. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly as to not wake the patient inside.
After sitting for what seemed like hours, doctors came to talk to Kurt. The one doctor was tall and lean, with tan skin and a pointed nose. He had very little hair and wore think rimmed glasses, just as Kurt would have pictured a doctor. “Well, Mr. Hummel” the lean doctor said, “We aren’t legally allowed to have you in his room.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “I’m his boyfriend, okay? I’m the only family he has within 100 miles of this place and you won’t let me in to see him?” The second doctor, a woman, put her hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “We can’t let you in to see him unless we have written consent from his parents. Do you have their contact information?” Kurt wrote down their phone numbers and address on a sheet of paper. The woman took it from him and smiled, “We’ll let you know when you are allowed in. Until then, you should go home, or go to work.” The doctors began to walk away. Kurt ran after them and grabbed the man by the arm. “Just tell me what happened to my boyfriend.” The doctor removed his arm from Kurt’s grasp and stayed silent. He and the other doctor walked back through the doors, leaving Kurt standing in the waiting room alone. It was 11:45 am on a Tuesday. Where was he supposed to go?
Kurt had his eyes closed because he had no idea what to expect. He had gotten a call at 2 o’ clock in the morning telling him that the hospital had the consent form and that he could come in during visiting hours, and nothing else. All he had seen the day before was a bleeding, broken, screaming boy, and he had no idea what to expect. “K-K-Kurt?” a weak voice called out to him. Kurt opened his eyes. He knew the voice, and he knew it was Blaine’s, but this didn’t look like Blaine’s body. His ivory skin was spotted with shades of red, blue, purple, and brown, like an impressionist painting. Kurt gasped, not only with pain, but also with surprise. He was surprised that Blaine remembered him, and even more surprised that he was awake. But he felt this sharp pain in his chest, like a dagger. He was helpless, and there was Blaine, lying broken in a hospital bed. He couldn’t do anything. Kurt walked over to his boyfriend and set the teddy bear on the table next to his bed. He reached out for Blaine’s hand, but Blaine stopped him, “It’s broken babe…please just sit with me.” His voice was so small, like it had been shut away in a cupboard. Kurt sat there with his boyfriend. He stayed with him until visiting hours were over. As Kurt stood up to leave, Blaine reached out his broken hand for him, “Give me a kiss goodbye…please.” Kurt smiled and leaned in, “I’ll give you a kiss, but I’ll never say goodbye to you.” Blaine smiled and closed his eyes. Kurt felt a single tear crawl down his cheek. He left a soft kiss on Blaine’s bruised lips and whispered, “Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” As he walked out the door, Blaine used all of the vocal power he had to say, “I love you, Kurt.” Holding back tears, Kurt smiled and said, “I love you too, Blaine.”
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Kurt finally stopped staring at the empty chair and got up. He didn’t even bother to clean up the food. He walked back to his room. It was just his room now that Blaine was—No. Kurt said to himself. It is still our bedroom. It is still our house. It is still our apartment. He walked to his closet and pulled out an outfit he hadn’t worn since high school. It was the black shirt with chains on it, the outfit he wore the day Pavarotti died. It was what he wore the day Blaine fell in love with him. He put it on and closed his door. He looked over at the bed. His side was neat, but he hadn’t made Blaine’s side. He wanted to leave it like that forever. He had to leave it like that. He grabbed his keys and his wallet. He didn’t need his phone today. He couldn’t talk to anyone, and the only person he needed to talk to wouldn’t call. He caught a taxi outside his apartment and got out at the Mt. Sinai Cemetery. He saw Blaine’s parents standing over a grass patch, and walked over to them. His mother greeted Kurt with a hug, as she began to cry. “My son loved you so much, Kurt.” Kurt just nodded and hugged her closer. He felt Mr. Anderson’s hand on his shoulder, “You know, you made him really happy. Happier than any of us ever could.” Kurt smiled and hugged Mr. Anderson, who had begun to shed a tear. He held Mrs. Anderson’s hand and they walked forward to watch as the black casket was lowered into the ground. He didn’t cry at all.
Blaine had died almost 3 days ago from complications due to the violence he endured. On his way to school he was attacked by 3 men for no reason. They beat him unconscious and left him up against a wall, losing liters of blood. He was barely breathing when doctors found him, and he was never able to recover. He was 22 years old.
After everyone went home, Kurt sat in front of the newly dug up dirt. He was going numb, and he didn’t know if he would ever be able to get up. All of a sudden he heard a voice. It was familiar, yet distant. I walked across and empty land…I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. Kurt closed his eyes and listened to the beautiful voice in his head and Blaine serenaded him one last time. And if you have a minute, why don’t we go talk about it somewhere only we know? Kurt could feel Blaine’s warmth envelope him. He was peaceful as he listened. This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go somewhere only we know? Kurt smiled as tears warmed his eyes, dancing on his eyelids and gliding down his cheeks. He got up and whispered, “Goodbye love. Sleep well.” Somewhere only we know.
Kurt walked into his empty apartment. He didn’t bother to turn on the lights. He wrote a quick not and left it on the table. It read, “I left to go somewhere only we know Blaine. No one will ever be able to find me. I love you.” He left his apartment that night with nothing but his keys and his wallet and the clothes on his back.
No one ever found him.
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